The Secret Bisexual Handshake

From my journal 11/2/2008

I have found that living life as a married bisexual can be very isolating. My wife is very helpful and understanding when we talk about my bisexuality .That being said as my wife is not bisexual herself she does not fully understand some of the issues I face everyday dealing with same sex attraction from within the confines of our marriage. I want to be able to talk with other bisexual married men who understand the very unique struggles we face living life with sexual attraction to both our same genders and other genders.

Because we are married we are invisible and look just like any other married heterosexual male why would anyone think otherwise? Wouldn't it be cool if there was a way to identify ourselves as bisexual to other like minded bisexuals? The problem is heterosexuals don't have to deal with these issues so they go through life not really caring what other peoples sexual orientation is. So we really cant go around saying "Hello nice to meet you Im Mark and Im a bisexual. and you are???? " As a result I dont know any bisexuals in my local community. Of course if I wear a bi flag , tie, lapel pin or bi flag Tshirt then everyone will know. Times are changing but most people do not want others to wear their sexuality on their shirt sleeve. In addition there are many who still would not approve or who would judge me.

I wish there was a secret handshake that only other bisexuals would recognize so that we could easily convey "Im one of you to each other". If not a handshake perhaps a color or a bracelet. Obviously whatever we choose it would not remain a secret for long. The way our media is it would be on the evening news and soon everyone would know our secret code. "Mark, Isnt that the bisexual lavender shirt I just saw it on the news last night, why would you wear that????" So while a secret code is something to wish for its not very realistic. I will have to keep working on my bidar. If people think gaydar is full of false readings just wait until you try the bidar version. I havnt been able to get mine to work at all. Well off to order that Lavender shirt , maybe I can get a few weeks before everyone and their brother knows exactly what my secret shirt means. Have a great day.